The slow death of a memory

Deadweight 

In my chest

Lead

Anchored on my own regret 

There are moments when you can taste the silence of your own longing

When the death of what was almost real is all we have to know that we are alive 

endless

Unlimited

Scrolling forever

Never enough to be satisfied 

Always another

Always something more

Give me peace

Give me rest 

Satisfy

Prayer

Introspection leads to worry

Prayer leads to faith

Attention

Attention is currency

Money

You cannot simply hope that money will not rule you. You have to replace its rule with a stronger authority.

plenty ants

Not too long ago I bought a bag of Muesli, took it home, ate some of it, and put in the cupboard. It was freaking delicious, and I looked forward to breakfast the next day when I could enjoy more.

When opening the bag the next day, I found that the ants had beat me to breakfast. They were crawling over the bag in an excited frenzy, hungry to please their queen with morsels of cranberry and oatmeal. Naturally I was disappointed. No muesli for me.

Instead of throwing the bag away, I put it in a sealed tupperware. I don't know why I did that. I guess I was just trying to keep any more ants out, but instead I made a prison. At least they would be well fed, I thought.

In my disappointment I left the muesli in the tupperware in the cupboard for about a week. Eventually I peeked inside only to find over 100 dead and shriveled ants at the bottom of the tupperware. Pouring the muesli out and inspecting it confirmed my suspicions - not a single ant inside the bag.

And that is when i realized just how different ants and humans are: The ants died trying to find their home. Humans die trying to enjoy their plenty.

Endless

God's love, VAST in height, width and depth is surpassed in complexity by its duration. Those who have tasted this love once, with that taste long forgotten can possibly never know that even now and even tomorrow, this endless love endures.