coffee in the morning

the best morning is when you have lots to do but nothing scheduled and you wake up at a time that not too late and it’s not too early. the time is just right for you to make coffee and to come and sit at your desk and write about what time it is without actually telling anyone what the time really is. and then you sit here and although the ‘to-do’ list is long and although you should be being productive, you aren’t. and you not feeling guilty about it either.

yes, these are the best mornings and mornings like these make me happy to be a penniless student, sipping on my cup of cup of alta-rica. deciding whether i should study, read a book, play the guitar or make another cup of alters. nothing is imperative and so indecision is mandatory, even welcomed.

and so i start today, cognizant of the fact that nearly the whole population is jealous of me right now as they scoot off to work and start the last day of the week. i don’t mind if people are jealous- it validates my smugness.

insights into my father's heart

so this morning i was reading that parable in Matthew 21 entitled ‘Story of the Two Sons’. although i am familiar with the story I think the story meant something more to me in light of what I have been going through with God recently.

in about november last year i started reading the book i have just recently reviewed- ‘disappointment with God’ by yancey- and the book really gave me new and fresh insight into God as a father, and how often his ‘angry speeches’ through his prophets are showing us his stark disappointment mixed with his intense desire for us to get stuff right. kinda like when a dad gets frustrated with his kid who just keeps getting stuff wrong even though the dad is giving him all the opportunities for the son to get it right. sure, the dad gets upset, but he’s not even close to giving up on the kid.

so that was one part of it. the next part of it was yesterday. i was having coffee with a friend at mugg and bean. and we got chatting about the hard stuff about our faith, and how we are battling to get certain stuff right after years of sincere effort. and my friend leaned back in his chair and said a little pearl of wisdom that i will take with me throughout my life: ‘you know, carl, i think God enjoys our humanness.’ that was a fresh thought to me... i thought the only part of me God enjoyed was the part that got stuff right. i know i have to be careful with this thought and even as i write this i am not sure quite how far to take it, but i do reckon that an earthly dad doesn’t mind mistakes. after-all, it’s his child and children make mistakes.

(i’m not by any means saying that our striving for purity should decrease- but rather that our perception of how God sees us after we stuff up might need adjusting- isn’t it a broken spirit that pleases God?) but i don’t want to get too far off the point here.

and then the last part of the story had to do with reading that parable this morning. it’s about 2 sons who asks them to go work in the field. the first says ‘no’ to his dad but later went to work, and the second said ‘yes’ to his father but then never went. the question is asked: ‘which son was obeying their father?’... although there are many things to discuss in this story, the only one that i saw this morning is the heart of a father. he wants obedience. it pleases him. and the greatest tragedy of the second son seems to not to be his lack of integrity but rather the fact that he didn’t please his dad.

I think that is why the bible draws so many lessons from the fact that God is our spiritual father... it’s so that when i’m not sure how to handle myself spiritually and when i’m keen to run, the only place God wants me to run to is toward him.

criticism

hey, if i was reading this post and someone else had written it, i would think it was terrible. but because it’s me writing it and this is my idea, i quite like how short it is. also it’s hidden message- i like that too. you probably don’t, but then again, that is the point of it...

diffusion

so i made a cup of tea for myself this morning. i watched how the hot water slowly changed colour as the tea-bag fulfilled it’s purpose. and it got me thinking about God, and about when he’s in my day he changes the colour of it. he diffuses into me and i taste better than hot water...