rusting on the inside

when i first started to at work in February 2009, i remember that my colleague showed me around the building. There really is not that much to an office park - especially mine. "Here is the bathroom, here is where you park, here is your desk, here is the kitchen" blah blah. At some point during the mini-tour of the kitchen, in between being shown where the mugs are and where to find the ever-elusive teaspoons, i was warned not to "ever use the wall-urn due to the fact that if you looked very carefully, you could see that there was a certain level of oxidation where boiling hot water had caused there to be impurities on the tip of the tap that dispensed (and thus contaminated) the water." ... her advise to me was simply to "use the kettle"...

it seemed ridiculous but i kept my mouth shut - it was my first day after all.

some time recently, while waiting for something in the microwave, i just felt an urge to peek into the kettle. turns out that the element at the bottom of the kettle is in pretty bad shape and is FAR more oxidised / corroded / pollutive than the tip of the tap of the wall-urn.

and then i learnt these lessons:

• sometimes it really is possible to notice the 'speck' somewhere else and become content with the 'log' that we don't even know exist in our own lives.
• sometimes what me make a fuss about really doesn't matter - we have all been drinking hot water for years without incident.

and so i am left wondering about the things i warn people about that i am guilty of practicing without my knowledge, and if the things that we sometimes get hung up on really matter for anything.

on that note, it is time for a cup of coffee and to get stuck into the numbers...

what frustrates you?

Yesterday afternoon I decided to take my Macbook to the local Mugg and Bean (coffee shop) and sit on the wireless internet doing a few updates and getting a few things sorted that I had started to feel were rather pressing. As I was locking my house the gate remote slipped out my hand and fell with a force greater than gravity against the floor. Smash.

Quickly forgetting the incident, I hopped into my car, drove up the driveway and approached the gate only to find, surprisingly, that the gate would not open. It is frustrating to be locked inside your own apartment. My blood pressure started to increase from now.

Arriving at my table I opened my Mac, only to find it completely unresponsive. No lights, no noises. Nothing. Instead of making me worried, it made me angry. I tried the usual: playing with the plug, unplugging it, replugging it, removing the battery, blowing on it - just in case, reinstalling. I even went as far as resetting the machine's CPM (central power management) system. Nothing. Just anger.

I wanted to go home and sulk. And just as I had finished packing my things to go, my friendly waitron delivered a boiling hot cup of coffee with hot milk (exactly what I had asked for a few minutes earlier). That then made me angry. The steam off the milk made annoyed me - I remember thinking: 'if this was cold milk I could drink this coffee quickly and be on my way sooner and that's what I want..."

Approaching my gate, still annoyed with broken technology and muttering a bit to myself, i stretched my hand into my car door to push the button that would (normally) open the gate for me... silly thing to do really. My blood just boiled a little more as I parked outside my complex and used the side gate to let myself in.

I will never forget the calm that came over me as I walked back to my flat. It was unexpected and so I listened. It was as though the dark clouds in my head parted for a second and I felt the voice of Wisdom teaching me... using my weakness and irritation to reveal something to me. God asked me how annoyed I get with an 'offence against the Kingdom of heaven' (that's what He called it, not me)...

There are things worthy of my irritation: rape, addiction, deceit, abuse, tv religion, poverty. But a broken computer is not allowed to be on that list. And nor is milk - regardless of its temperature.