fear of loss

Last night my car got stolen... along with my wallet (in my car)... along with my diary containing my internet banking username etc. I got an sms saying that the account that I have been using to save up for my MBA had been cleaned out. It all happened so fast.

You know sometimes how when you wake from a dream and within an instant you go from wild panic to uncontainable relief? I’m sure you’ve had it - you flip over on to your back, take stock of where you are, look through your phone messages just to make sure that the bank didn’t sms you after all. And breathe out.

Relief. I was dreaming. I have lost nothing.

But I realised something rather significant: I own things that are important to me. And in fearing to lose them, I have lost something already.

life, art and music

we think it is the other way around, but life imitates art and music. not vice versa.

wasting time

So... i am in Cape Town at the moment - and last night, having nothing to do, i decided to go to the casino for a bit and try my luck. Walking around the casino floor I became aware of something interesting. The R2 machines are the least busy - no one is queueing up for them. Too expensive. The R1 machines are slightly more busy. The 50c machines are rather busy... but the real crowds are found at the 2c and 5c machines.

And that’s when I realised something tragic: people know they are going to lose money. And they would prefer to lose as slowly as possible. Paying a few cents each time to watch the numbers turn.

I started to consider that bigger than the problem of greed, is the problem of boredom.

People are killing time not realising that time is killing them.