oversupply of the Gospel

It’s Christmas! Today is the day that so many kids have waited for and so many parents have dreaded! This year I’d like to think economically about Christmas and the gospel of Jesus coming into the world. That’s right... economically... it should be fun :-)

I will have to start from the foundation of supply and demand as an economic theory, the gist of which says:

- the higher the demand the higher the price and vice versa (if you really want something you will pay more for it)
- the higher the supply the lower the price and vice versa (if there’s lots of something it’s not really worth that much)

[extract from ‘supply and demand’ posted on Dec 2nd 2008]

This morning I attended a PACKED Christmas service which was encouraging to see. But the corollary of course is that mostly the churches are not that full. Attendance is low. There are massive exceptions and world-wide this varies tremendously but in the main, church attendance is pretty low. Especially in the modern world like in America and the UK (the Christian powerhouses of old.) The supply of churches and christian merchandise has seemed to drop the demand for things that are ‘churchy’.

And yet in the past few decades the gospel, and Christianity as a way has flourished under oppression and persecution as was the case in China and Korea.

It seems that if you want Christianity to grow then fight it. And if you want to kill it and empty the churches, don’t oppose it.

These are interesting things to notice!

The story of Jesus is about the GIFT of salvation- and on a day like today when we are both receiving things that have cost other people money or giving presents that have cost us something, there is always a cost element involved. The same applies with Jesus. Except God’s gift has cost us nothing and has cost him everything. It is free. Yet cost an unfathomable amount.

And much like I don’t like pamphlets, a windscreen wash at the garage, bank diaries and most free stuff, I think that society doesn’t want what it can’t afford and thus the world refuses the greatest gift ever given to man.

Oversupply decreases value. Even for the Gospel?

the strength of the I.T industry (adapted)

I have decided to publish a post from ‘carlsonomics’ into ‘a thought collection’ because as I re-read what I had written I realised that I had written more about people and their behaviour than I had about the actual I.T. industry. This is consumer analysis that asks interesting questions about the changing nature and demands of us humans: consumers or consumed?

Many people remember the I.T. bubble. Since early 1990’s the industry looked saturated with potential and many investors made killer profits. Also known as the ‘dot com revolution’, many people believed that Information and Technology was the new economy rather than merely a part of the old economy. Much investor confidence was lost with the events of September 11, 2001... in fact the bubble burst and many investors made killer losses. As a result many people have developed an overly negative attitude to the I.T. industry, and for the past 7 years, I.T. companies have in the main not come close to returning to their former glory.

I remain optimistic about the future of the I.T. industry though and here’s why: The I.T. industry is driven by the needs of the modern human. Here are four:

1. The need to be connected
Never before in the history of man has it been so possible to always be available to whomever is trying to reach you. Even untouchable celebrities are known to sometimes return myspace / facebook messages. It is a case in point where the technology has created the need rather than vice versa. (ie. because we have cellphones we need cellphones OR because we have facebook we need to facebook.) The culture or being connected is becoming a way of life and thus it is becoming a social need thus driving the demand for connection providing services steadily higher. And culture changes slowly. Reversion is highly unlikely.

2. The need to be synchronised
Your email with your phone with your laptop with your contact database with your ipod with your itunes with your electronic calendar with your ... you get the point. The need to be synchronised is driving new technology.

3. The need for convenience
THe modern world could be said to be obsessed with convenience. Service delivery companies have always made margin on added convenience. Convenience has always had a price tag. Pre-made meals and salads, pizza delivery, electric windows, garage quickshops, portable music etc have all changed the face of the planet purely because they were convenient alternatives. Charles G. Mortimer is quoted as saying: “Today convenience is the success factor of just about every type of product and service that is showing steady growth.” Therefore, as long as life can be made more convenient, the I.T. industry will continue to find technological ways of doing it.

4. Lastly, the need for portability
This last point needs little explanation. I carry facebook in my pocket. It’s great when you are waiting in a queue. You can still be social. In fact I should say you can still be ‘social’. There is a difference of course... being social would mean being friendly with the people in the queue with me... That is the flesh and blood world. However if ever the line between reality and fiction was getting blurred it is surely in these times. I met somebody recently who firmly believed they were good at soccer because they were good at playing soccer on the playstation... as if one represented the other. He was insulted when I laughed at him.
Technology allows us to be mobile. It’s becoming a way of life. Laptop sales are sky high because people want to be able to compute on the move. There are many more examples too - I will not bore you with them - I think it’s clear to see...

I.T. companies have the odds in their favour in the modern world. Sure, the industry’s bubble popped but that’s because investors were blowing too hard, not because of the weakness of the industry.

Information and Technology has defined our needs, and now is the only one who can meet them.

and then it rained

the heat feeding the clouds since first light
evaporation taking away
stealing water from around me
invisible yet steady

the sky was like an over-ripe pimple
exploding
it was mercy after the heat
it was the give-back
always more than the take

saturating the hungry earth
satisfying my thirsty heart

water
freshness

He gives. He takes. Always working when we face Him. The give-back always exceeding the take.
This is my God making me more than moist.

book review - John Grisham. Playing for Pizza

It hurts me to write a review like I am about to because I am perhaps the biggest John Grisham fan ever to walk this planet. Any form of criticism of him or his work feels like disloyalty- betrayal even.

This is is worst book by some margin.

The story is about a major-league NFL star who can no longer play in the NFL after an embarrassing match and is ‘forced’ to play in Italy where the football league is almost unknown to the rest of the world- even to the locals. Rick, (the uncolourful main character), learns all about teamwork, romance yackety yak while in Parma, Italy, and to tell you more of the story would be to uncover basically nothing of a pretty weak story line.

The most disappointing part of the book for me was the failure to develop the characters in the book. Perhaps there were just too many Italian names being thrown about but I struggled to remember who was who, even on the last page of the book. The characters were names, not people. I have always really enjoyed Grisham’s ability to make his characters come alive. I always find myself making friends in the pages of his books but even Rick was just a name.

Grisham is still my hero, but this was just a disappointing read. I’m about to start reading ‘The Innocent Man’ now and I’m sure my confidence in Grisham will be refreshingly restored.

kirby

kirby sits still

he looks at the rain
he loves it when it rains
but he misses her too

waking up when it is raining

unremitting
soaking
intermittent rolling thunder

there is not much better than lying in bed as the steady drip drips steadily
every sound of a splatter might as well be the note of something classical-
together they sing to me something philharmonic

moleskine

the pages the right tint
the weight feels measured as i hold it

it invites the pen
technology with history

i’ll always have a moleskine
i wish i could type on it

the apprentice

so last night was the start of the new season of the apprentice with donald trump. (the man who gives the winning team a prize of having lunch with him- that’s right... )

i can’t tell you much yet as i don’t even know the contestants’ names, but i can tell you one thing: the man who used the word ‘paramount’ when talking to trump in the boardroom is going to do exceptionally well.

mark my words.

disclaimer: i would go on the net to find his name, but in doing so i would probably see who won and thus spoil the show for myself- please forgive me... i will look out for him next week and catch his name then. a man with his vocabulary and poise will probably be team leader next week ;)

negative faith

i accept it as truth only because i have felt the lie and truth is the only acceptable alternative. call it negative faith if you will. either way it’s something and it beats the lie.

carlsonomics

for anyone who’s interested in learning more about the economy and such things... join me on my travels. looking at basics and also at some complex stuff along the way, carlsonomics aims to give insights into the South African and global markets and how they affect all of us...

http://carlsonomics.blogspot.com/

a few mac things

so for all those mac users out there- this one if for you...

i have decided to temporarily leave my self-pitying poems of no structure and little interest to anyone else. (my main reason for doing this came after checking out all my friends’ notes on facebook- you go do the same. most of them are people feeling sorry for themselves. there are the odd exceptions like a man called brett anderson who writes notes sometimes about other people or about interesting subjects other than himself. but for the most part it’s all hogwash- my posts included... )

but i have discovered a few joyful mac things in the last few weeks that i would like to share:

1. Net News Wire ... a freeware RSS feed reader allowing you to subscribe to multiple RSS feeds and to monitor these feeds by ‘updating’ when you are online. you can automate quite a lot of actions and set it as the default RSS reader for use with firefox etc... http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/internet_utilities/netnewswire.html

2. MacJournal ... a great place to type. It has the full screen option that allows you to feel like a ‘real writer’ when you are having coffee in the local mugg and bean ;-) it has a blog uploader facility that allows you to send your musings to your blog if you have one. Otherwise it is till great for other stuff. http://www.freemacware.com/macjournal

3. Free Mac Ware ... the greatest website showcasing only free downloads (no shareware rubbish that gets your hopes up only to smash them again... http://www.freemacware.com

4. Adium ... oh let me count the ways that i love adium... this is a chat programme that is just great. lots of options but yet very simple. you can add msn, gmail, and even mxit people onto one contact list. http://www.freemacware.com/category/mac-communication-software/

That’s all for now... time to hit the the upload button on the macjournal toolbar...

if i could only force it

if i could force it i would push as hard as i can
‘till i won

but overcoming by force is overcoming but half
because the force i would use is the force that uses me

and force yields no power
in the arena i’m in

it is good so- lest i try and lose again
i’m left with my pen

snack

to taste the feeling is to know the reflection
of another heart that joins yours to beat

to know that bitterness overcomes the sweetest

to think i ate off a paper plate
a take away
i take only regret away with me

Book Review: To Own a Dragon (Donald Miller)

It has been some time since a book left me in tears. Real, constant tears that dripped the duration of the last 5 chapters.

The book if for guys. It is a look at lessons that the author has learnt growing up without a father. Initially I was negatively predisposed to the book because this whole ‘fatherless generation’ thing seems to have almost become a fashion subject since John Elderage wrote ‘Wild at Heart’. And I loathe fashionable Christians.

If there is one thing that I have come to appreciate more than anything in a book, indeed in any spoken interaction, it is sincerity. An honest account. I think that is something that sets the Bible apart. The Bible is raw in it’s recollections of failure, sin, holiness and perfection. It is a kaleidoscope of brutal shame mixed with brutal perfection, never lacking in colour. Never short on sincerity.

I have just finished a book by an author who is fast becoming one of my favourites: a man named Donald Miller. As I read about his walk with God and the lessons he has learnt along the way I get the distinct knowing that this guy is for real. He is legit. He talks from knowing. And when he doesn’t know, then he talks with me, as a quester rather than a teacher.

Miller makes me feel like I don’t have to make the mistakes he has made. His lessons are my lessons. I don’t have to sell my character for nine dollars. I don’t have to be lazy first to know that work is a gift. I don’t have to wonder about my manhood ‘cos Don reckons that a penis qualifies you- period. His search has been my find.

The book I have just read is a book full of real wisdom. Knowlege is the information that feeds thoughts. Very different to knowledge, wisdom is the insight that feeds actions.

Sure, the tears dripped. It was an engrossing and powerfully intimate read. But the book was not entertainment. I’m called to difficult action with the 98% chance of failing on my first day. At least I have a friend along for the journey...

reading

“all leaders read- there are almost no exceptions.“ - Donald Miller (you are probably guessing that I’m reading a Donald Miller book at the moment... quite right you are. Review will follow...)

The average American person (are Americans people?) watches 1456 hours of television per year but only reads three books. So if it is true that readers are leaders, and the more you read the further you advance, then there isn’t a lot of competition. (that’s also from Don Miller, except the part in brackets of course...)

left alone

“I don’t believe the sinful nature can be summed up easily, but i know part of it means a person left alone doesn’t grow or get strong, not emotionally anyway...”
- Donald Miller

Community is important. Friends are important. People who are not your friends are important. Because people are the real currency of life. And in giving of ourselves to those around us we gain perspective of what lies central to living: relationships.

Something happened this last week that really got me thinking about people, and my attitude toward them. I became an arrogant, mean person to a few people around me who had only even been good to me. I accepted without giving back. For some reason I thought I would be alright on my own. Killing friendships became a ‘whatever’ situation.

Thankfully people are patient. I hope to be the same back.

People are God’s image and if I fail to love them, I fail in my first mandate: to love God.

the naked scientist

i would like to introduce you to Chris, the naked scientist. He is on 702 talk radio every friday morning at 9:30am, and he is the smartest guy alive (i reckon).... I have listened to him for months now and he is never unable to answer any question on any subject.

do yourself a favour- tune in next friday. 92.7FM.

in my suit

walking past the car guard i noticed something for the first time... a longer look. a more intentional hello. a slight smile. expectation.

i was dressed in my suit about to give a presentation at the university.

the car guard did not know that this was my only suit. the only thing that he knew was the correlation between suits and tips. and so he smiled in the same fashion that pavlov’s dogs drooled.

imagine if i didn’t drive a 1992 jetta CLX?

knowing

now i am sure
i have waited for this
i destroyed in order to know
i’d do it again

peripheral vision

i see wildness poised in the corner, waiting to strike. untamed and complex. a myriad of intricate design, interwoven subtleties and meaning and intent. its in the corner of my eye and when i look directly at that which i want to understand, i see it no more. i only see it when i look away and choose something else to be my focus, then i notice it again. subtle movements are further hidden in blurry overtones. and i’m left with the knowing that i will only ever know in part that which i think i need to know in full and i will only ever know this part by looking away from it.

wonder

“Concepts create idols, only wonder can grasp anything.” -Gregory of Nyssa

the best R15 i ever spent - revised

i was at varsity last week and i was strolling around the student centre looking for something to eat. finding something to eat when you are a student is always careful analysis of certain key factors and a decision based on trade-off. you look for size, you look for nutrition, and you look for cost efficiency. very seldom do you get all three.

walking past a shop called Cafe Palet i noticed that they were advertising a ‘burger special’ for R15. my one friend had already told me about the tiny burger that you get for R15, but i decided to risk it... I really was not expecting much for R15 anyways.

The biggest surprise awaited me. it was massive! it even came with tons of chips and it also came with a bit of salad (well, garnish actually) which helped in the nutrition department.

one of the saddest things you will even experience is something that promises to be amazing and is not. (like when Jesus cursed the fig tree)... the flip side of that coin is when something promises little and delivers a lot.

and i’d far rather be the latter.

making eggnog

i was just in the kitchen when i blended myself something strange:

2 eggs
1 banana
half a glass milk

i was hesitant about the first sip not knowing exactly how vile it might all taste.
it was the sweetest surprise.
literally sweet.
i analysed the ingredients and wondered where the sweetness was coming from:

raw egss? no
banana? maybe
milk? no

the ingredients on their own are not as sweet as the drink i’m enjoying right now.
this could be a good post for me to analyse the theory that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, but i’m taking a different spin on it...

you see, had i put sugar in it would have tasted sweeter and been less healthy. Besides, it really didn’t need sugar.

let’s think metaphorically:
the eggnog = our lives
the sugar = sin

we are sweet enough without sugar. in fact, we don’t sugar. sugar just stuffs us up and sugar just makes us less nice. less natural. more fake.

i wonder about how things are today and how we see God as the enemy instead of Sin being the enemy. We make our was with God and with religious institutions. But i can see why we do this. Why fight sugar when it’s cheap and tastes nice?

lyrics

even the most catchy melody has to have good lyrics.

it’s hard to realise that the tune i’d been whistling for years had no words.

the best R15 rand i have ever spent

(the other title of this post could be: Book Review - The Understudy by David Nicholls)

Those who know me well enough to know the inside of my room know that whist most young adults have spent money on booze and cigarettes, I have spent equivalent, and even surplus amounts, on books. Next to my king size bed I have a book shelf almost as wide as the bed and it is quite densely populated with all sorts of book titles. My books.

In order to have a book collection of your own, the first rule that you have to obey is the ‘don’t join the library’ rule. Libraries are awful places for those rare human specimens that prefer ownership to leasing. I have always resisted libraries and instead frequented 2nd hand book shops or better yet, hospice charity shops where I have personally been lucky enough to pick up hard cover Grisham’s for R10. Ten rand being my average library fine expense anyway.

Moving along with this story, before I entirely lose you, I was the most excited man in the world 4 days ago when I stumbled upon an “ALL BOOKS R15” sale at the local stationery shop. Trying not to salivate on the books, I managed to pick up a total of 4 decent looking ones, all by authors that i have never heard of before. Fully aware of the risk involved in such a purchase I was not expecting much as I opened to the first page of the book with the best cover. (the proverbial ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ is actually wrong. i believe covers mean more than the crappy sales pitch on the inside cover anyway.)

About 20 pages into The Understudy I found myself totally gripped by the story-line, the main character’s colour and the sneak -peek it gave me into London’s West End. I found myself leaving parties early so that I could read more. I also found myself getting positively annoyed with my eyelids as they began to shut at night because a part of me wanted to know what happened next. It all became a little obsessive really.

I don’t want to review the book- there are enough people in the world reviewing things, hoping that their point of view gets taken seriously... if you are interested in a review then ask Uncle Google for one, I’m dure he would be happy to deliver in record time. I do, however, know that this is not everyone’s book, but I’m glad it was mine. It sprinkled flavour into an otherwise bland week back at varsity making calculations.

I have just finished the book and now am not sure what to do with myself other than encourage people I know to ask to borrow it from me. Just remember to give it back because I will surely note it’s absence from the shelf- it has the best cover, remember....

opposite climates of the same air (port)... [...elizabeth here I come]

As I write this, I am in the place that I love more than most. I’m tucked away on a comfy couch in a full airport with no one to bother me. The only thing missing is a railway latte from Nescafe Cafe because they had no available tables when I walked past.

I love opposites. Many who know me, know my slight obsession with ambiguity. A lot of the songs I write have separate emotions right after each other. I throw in lyrics like: ‘hurt heals my wounds’ and ‘i look down to the sky’...

Stuff like that, you know. And that is why I love airports. They are a land of opposite emotion. You can stand (as I did) on at the domestic arrivals and see people re-united and happy and crying tears of joy. Then you can take the escalator 2 floors up and be struck by a totally opposite emotional climate. The air is thicker, harder to breathe. I scan for families and see pending discomfort. Someone is leaving. Fracture.

And that’s why I’m neither smiling nor frowning. I’m stuck in the middle. Not just because I’m on the 2nd floor, but because today I say goodbye to a Joburg that I love and say hello to a father I do too.

(for those who didn’t like the title of this post, i must apologise. if i were the english teacher I would tell my student to change it. thankfully i’m still very much the student.)

book review - blink

and here is the next rather negative review on a book that i would recommend that you read, but one that i would tell you to read with caution.

the subject of the book (well, the first half of the book anyway) is about the ability to make rapid decisions under pressure (or not under pressure) that will prove to be as good as, if not better, than decisions made under conditions of expert enlightenment. The author, Malcolm Gladwell, coins the concept as ‘thin-slicing’... by this he simply means that you may know the content of the whole by looking at a slice. Not just any slice but a thin one.

I give credit to the author for being able to convince himself of this theory and for the attempt to convince others.

The concept of this slicing is ‘proved’ by looking at a few carefully selected examples where the concept works in the real world. He looks at three environments. (I couldn’t help wondering if his use of limited examples was because the theory only works in 3 places?) He considers the following:

- married couples (perhaps the most complex of all cakes from which to take a thin slice from)
- military decisions (where rapid decisions have always set the average apart from the exceptional)
and
- marketing research (which i didn’t feel was too applicable and mr gladwell spent the last half of the book looking almost exclusively at it).

More than this, I enjoyed 2 specific aspects of the book:
1. The author was quick to acknowledge the limitations of his theory and was realistic in the application of it. He provided explanations as to why the theory would not work in specific environments and under certain conditions. I found these explanations to be beautifully philosophical and I enjoy well constructed philosophy.
2. It was scientific. It was an enlightening stroll into the land of behavioral science with many look out points and rest-stops.

All in all, the general philosophy of the book was a bit too much. It was like trying to fit my extra length king size bed with a single bed sheet: The author was forced to stretch things a bit far.

book review - a teenager's journey

AT LAST! a book i did NOT enjoy reading. I cannot wait to tell you a bit about why i didn’t enjoy it.

“A Teenager’s Journey chronicles the harrowing route to adulthood taken by Richard Pelzer”...

Richard Pelzer grew up in California and had an alchoholic mother who abused him both emotionally and physically. As he recounts his experiences you cannot help but be mortified with the evils that the author was forced to endure. For someone who is not familiar with abuse too much, i found the story to be slightly overwhelming and I could not keep myself from the nagging question: “is this truthful?”

Of course, there is no way of me knowing so I decided to believe eveything i read. As the book continued it became surprising to see that the author did many things to spark his mom’s anger and although these things didn’t justify the abuse, i battled to understand how the author was so easily able to overlook his own flaws while making the reader hate his mother quite zealously.

I always battle with people who are quick to overlook their mistakes and quick to point out the mistakes of others. And so I struggled to read about a troubled kid’s troublemaking and blame.

Maybe I am being too harsh here but I’d like to finish this review with a brief philosophical thought: There can be little peace whilst there is still blame. I am not scared of giving the story-line away because I doubt you will read this book now anyway. The eventual climax of the mere 200 page book came in the form of a letter that he wrote to his deceased mother. The letter contained no forgiveness, only more blame and more justification for his childhood failures. At the end of the book the author called himself ‘free at last’ but to me he still seemed very much in chains (but this is because of what i believe and is thus subjectively critical). Without forgiveness there is no freedom.

And that is perhaps my most negative review ever, and it will be closely followed by another- I just picked up another book that is only worth my while that I might dissuade others from reading it.

finished

will you go back to the start if I tell you I’m finished
the dessert sand was tough for me too
to stop is to fail and I’ve built you for greatness

to run can be easy
walking needs more balance-
the hardest of all is to sit right here

if i tell you i’m finished will you walk again
if i tell tell you I’ve won will you come to my party
if i tell you i’ve died will you think it’s old news?

i’m more on your side that what you think
killjoy I’m not- I just know what makes you smile longer

the stronger is weakness
the surface is deepness
you need me, you say-
but you didn’t want me yesterday

investment and God and what that means to me this morning

So I’m a 3rd year finance student at University of Johannesburg... And i wrote Investment Management (my last exam for the semester) this last thursday. Perhaps it was due to me being in the investment exam mindset, or maybe because university studies has trained my mind to think financially that the following passage became so meaningful to me:

“Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you- guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” 2 Tim 1:14

Hm, the GOOD DEPOSIT. like a bank deposit? yes, exactly like that... as i sat thinking about what this could mean i drew the following parallels that i’d briefly like to expound on:

Term to Maturity:
Every investment has a term to maturity, that is, a time when the policy or investment will pay out. There is a simple principle that you become very aware of the more financial calculations you do: and that is that the more you are able to sacrifice now (lets say for your pension), the more you will benefit later. So thoughts of sacrifice come to mind. We should live making constant provision for our spiritual future.

Rating:
Most investments are rated depending on their historical performance and also on the fund’s possibility of defaulting on payment. If my fund had a rating, what would it be? If there were other celestial beings keen on investing into funds (which thankfully there aren’t), would I be attractive to them based on my soundness and my tendency to always give God his due?

Initial Amount
Investments can be lump-sum amounts, monthly or periodic payments (more often known as annuities) or combinations of the two. In our case with Christ, the initial amount is HUGE. He has entrusted to us more than we deserve to have. It is a big deposit and we will be called into account for what we have done with it, i reckon... Just like the parable of the talents. And since God knew we would be stupid bankers, he has given us the Holy Spirit to help us.

Yield to Maturity:
This could be said to be the performance of the investment. It’s yield. It’s interest rate. In this case, we are the bank. We are the fund managers and the performance of this fund is entirely our responsibility. Does it lose value or does it grow? And if it grows, then at what rate does it grow? Well, that’s up to us isn’t it?

The Investor
The Investor is God. Investing always has risk (unless you invest in government bonds which are considered to be a risk-free investment cos if they don’t have cash to pay out then they can always just print some). Investing into humans must be the riskiest of all. Humans get lost. Humans become confused so easily. Humans forget they have a deposit to protect. If i were a prudent investor i would look elsewhere in the universe to open up an account. But, no, God has chosen to open the account with us on the day that we received him, and now the deposit has been made. And it is up to him what returns we give him.

So all these points came to mind, and I am aware the some of them are stretched in order to be relevant. But the Bible became more real to me this morning as I looked at it in a way that I could understand it best. I am encouraged by the fact that the Bible speaks to all sorts of people- even the bankers.

c.s. lewis on joy

“... an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy ... Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic... the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if it were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power, and pleasure often is.” (C.S. Lewis; Surprised by Joy; 1955)

neglect and diverted attention

so, i have had this problem this week where it has felt like something was stuck between my two front teeth and because of this i have tried flossing there numerous times. problem is, because i have been so focussed on getting rid of the disturbance between my these teeth i have not flossed the rest of my mouth for more than week.

and that got me thinking- i wonder if sometimes we are sensitive to a particular battle in our christian lives and we draw battle lines against something in particular, while the enemy gains an advantage on other fronts. for example: you may wage war on the sin of greediness and decide to give more and more of your time and money away only to find that within a few months you think that you have done God a favour or that the money was yours to give in the first place.

and maybe this carries on until one day you need root canal on your molars cos you were distracted by what your two front teeth were looking like.

carl has rushed into august

even these words which i choose now seem impossible to select as i try to convey the effect that a movie can have on someone. august rush has taken my breath away. and now i only have breath left enough to type. not to speak. not to spoil the music. not to steal the silence. only to keep hearing.

folks, august rush is a must see movie. my words can’t add... my words will only steal and therefore I will convince you with words that are not my own:

“I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy-tales”

“Do you like music, August?” ... “i do ... more than food...”

“Only some can hear the music because only some of us are listening”

this movie is more than a tear-jerking nice idea with good acting and original story-line. it is beauty that has made me more than what i would have been should i have picked another movie to watch today...

pleasure {srewtape #2}

(remember the The Enemy is God and Our Father is Satan because these are letters between fellow demons...)

“Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense on the Enemy’s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all of our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which he has forbidden. Hence, we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasures to that in which it is least natural, least redolent [strongly reminiscent or suggestive of something] of it’s Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula .... To get the man’s soul and to give him nothing in return- that is what really gladdens Our Father’s heart.” (Lewis, 1976, pg 54)

Last night our Church received a sermon that is for me one of the cornerstones of proper theological thinking, and of a correct understanding of man in relation to God: the message was that the pursuit of pleasure for a Christian is not a bad thing. For many decades and centuries, the church has has been a kill-joy. It has given the world the idea that pleasure is a bad thing, and if something feels good then perhaps it is not good.

This is perhaps the greatest lie that the real enemy has told and had believed. C.S Lewis arguing this point in a sermon one day, while discussing joy in God said the following: “The problem is not that we don’t persue happiness but that we dont persue it hard enough. We are too easily satisfied.”

If we ran after pleasure and only found rest in the highest forms of it, then we would find ourselves resting with God.

screwtape #1

“did the patient respond to some of your terror-pictures of the future? Did you work in some good self-pitiying glances at the happy past?- some fine thrills in the pit of his stomach were there?”

so, let me be a bit vulnerable here- these 3 questions asked by screwtape struck a chord with me because I am often guilty of wishing I didn’t know the truth. The desire to feel the thrill without the knowledge that the thrill robs me. The desire to forget (though i am known to rejoice in knowing). A desire to feel sorry for my loss as a christian rather than to be joyful with the insurmountable gain.

that you too?

i suspect that it is not that uncommon. like that guy in ‘the matrix’ who chose illusion over reality simply because the taste of steak was good enough. and yet, as common as it is, it is a highly dangerous thought because if we take the thought to it’s logical end, we arrive at the horrible conclusion that God has robbed us. He has robbed us of our illusion and this is disappointing. Of course, the perfect thing to think would be: He has gracefully exposed our minds to the brilliance of truth. But of course, being human, we tend to see it mostly from the other side.

the next time the “semi-innocent” thought: ‘i wish i didn’t know better, but unfortunately i do’ comes knocking on my brain, I will be more weary of it. I will choose to see that the real enjoyment of truth is in the absolute absence of illusion.

screwtape letters- intro

ok, so i am going to do something new and different- I am currently reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and rather than reviewing the book after I have read it, I want to write about what it says along the way. I am only 5 chapters in, but already I would put this book in the category of a christian ‘must-read’ for two reasons:
1. It is short
2. It gives key insights into the presence and working of spiritual forces which are so often overlooked in the Western world.

The book is a collection of letters that a senior demon writes to his nephew about the art of temptation and of leading christians astray. It takes awhile to get used to, but The Enemy then refers to God and ‘Our Father’ refers to Satan- keep that in mind as you read any of my screwtape blog entries...

Book Review - Charles Darwin by Cyril Aydon

Let me start of by mentioning that I am a real fan of books. I don’t need to ever remind myself that books hold a tremendous source of knowledge and wisdom upon their pages. For those familiar with my room, they will know the colossal bookshelf that sits only two feet away from my head when I sleep. Its position is half due to my theory of osmosis, half simply because I like having books close to me, and half because the shelf gives me a place to rest my tea cup. And that adds up to 150% which is me telling you that I like books more than the average guy. So keep that in mind when I review some of my favorites - that I tend to be very complimentary.

The book in question is a fantastic journey through the life of one of the most influential minds of modern thinking (especially on the subject of evolution, as many will know the name Darwin for). In my first year of university in 2003, I studied Psych 1 and Darwin had a whole subsection of his own within my file. I remember being fascinated with him back then already. Darwin was a compulsive recorder of his thoughts and activities and thus I would imagine that biographers would have a good time picking through what to include in their particular writing on is life- Cyril chose well.

Cyril Aydon’s biography is a very balanced read and gives much insight into the life and work of Darwin as well as his childhood. One area in which I did find the book lacking, is in the area of its insight into the life of Darwin’s marriage and home life. I suspect that this is due to the fact that Darwin’s work consumed so much of his time and energy and his home life simply went unrecorded. We do know however that he played backgammon with his wife every night for the better part of 47 years (and kept a running tally of wins and losses)... I wonder what the final tally was- google does not know.

Two things become very clear through the reading of this book (and I will try not to spoil anything for anyone wishing to read it after me):

1. Darwin was not successful because he had a brilliant mind. Yes, sure, he was more intelligent than most, but it was his passion for truth and other parts of his personality, like his ability to notice minute detail, that made him the inceptive propagator of a very new and groundbreaking theory. It seems to me that he was naturally selected to formulate the theory of natural selection. Ok, silly joke, but I was only half joking and therefore it is only half silly.

2. Darwin was not anti-religious. He simply really believed in his theories and could not come to doubt them because he saw them as being factual, and he lived in a time when there was middle ground between the islands of thinking like Darwin or having a literal understanding of the book of Genesis. If anything, he tried to stay away from controversy. It was more the people alongside him that used the logical out-workings of his theories to argue fiercely against the church.

I think the book to be well written and I enjoyed the balance it gave to narrative and scientific content. It did not lose itself in dates and places as many biographies do, and at the same time took you on a journey to a sunny destination. The book has a great summary chapter which charts the popularity of Darwin’s theory since his death. A nice addition I think.

“Anyone with intelligence can have an idea. Having an idea is hardly more praiseworthy than having hiccups. It is the labour and skill that go into developing and applying an idea that turns chance thought into great science.” - Aydon (2002)

the most beautiful eulogy

“...we have lost our poor little boy, our pet and our hope. You knew him well, and know his mother’s heart and mine were wrapped up in him, will understand how great is our affliction. He was attacked with a bad form of scarlet fever on Thursday night, and on Sunday night effusion of the brain set in suddenly and carried him off in a couple of hours... as the little fellow was our greatest joy, so is the recollection of him an enduring consolation. It is a heavy payment, but I would buy the four years of him again at the same price.”

(Thomas Huxley writing to philosopher Herbert Spencer on the death of his son in 1860... )

These men were both respected and very busy scientists who’s contribution to geology and evolutionary theory permeates the university lectures halls of today. Time was against them, yet out of the most hurried schedule came such beautiful words...

Strange isn’t it? To think that this is how friends would talk to each other only 140 years ago. Pen. Paper. Emotion. Intent.
Where would I ever find such an interchange between two friends (two male friends for that matter!) in today’s world of hurried correspondence and ‘deadline driven action’.

What a eulogy... Perhaps a symbol of the death of something more.

thought

the things that i most regret are things that i have done without thinking...

the things that i least regret are also things that i have done without thinking...

interesting.

anxious

toss on the bed
convincing myself that it's alright
unconvincingly

look at the clock
time is elapsing
unused time
not sleeping not working
waste with no option to recycle

awake
but not enough to be useful
fluctuations between feeling on top
and feeling squashed

asleep
but not quite
so close to worry that
closed eyes keep me lingering

toss on the bed
daylight has come slowly

listen

it is a scary thought to think that i need to be entertained in order to hear... what are the most entertaining things saying to me?

gazing

and like a child i’m gazing
into wondrous love
taking me to places
that my heart is dreaming of

-- future of forestry --

evaluating philosophy

This is a 4 point basic framework that you could find helpful if your mind likes to think philosophically sometimes. I have adapted it quite a bit out of a book called “On Human Nature” (Wall, 2005)

For any philosophy (about any aspect of reality) to have credibility it must consist of:

1. Reasoned Judgments

In a philosophical world there are not too many facts, and thus speculation is necessary. There is a danger, however, in the absence of clear facts, to see people’s point of view on reality (philosophy I dare say) as being a personal taste issue. Philosophy cannot be seen to be a mere collection of opinion as they provide evidence to support their various claims, evidence that is factual, certain inferences that are based on these facts, and interpretations that must be reasonable. It is possible to have an unreasonable collection of opinion, but not a philosophy.

2. Universality

If a theory is going to hold then it needs to account for all the facts involved. In other words, one theory is better than another if it better explains MORE of the facts. So quantity of the coverage is the key element here. If one theory is able to explain ALL the facts then philosophers will call this theory ‘universal’. The is no recourse from a universal theory. There can be no rebuttal, only another angle (if the other angle is able to equally cover all the same facts as the former theory).

3. Consistency

Consistency implies that the content of the theory contains no contradictions or internal flaws. It also implies that the theory, as a whole, should be consistent with the known facts of the universe and with generally accepted theories. Quite simply, one theory can be said to be better than another if it is more consistent. This is where I find the conflict of interest between spirituality and science most prevalent. Quite simply, Christians (I will write about them because I am one), look to God as the source, and thus a theory is consistent if it logically explains the nature and role of God at work in the world, and in a way that Christians would find both internally and externally consistent. However, science, as a faculty, does not accept the use of spiritual explanations to explain the unknown. It is not measurable, it is not testable, it is not experiment-able. It is not consistent to science. Which makes me wonder the question: “How can you find something that you are looking for if you refuse to look in all the places that it could be?” But that is a deep question... Let’s move on...

4. Simplicity

This is often used as the last benchmark to decide on preference of theories: If two theories are equally Universal and equally Reasonable, and equally Consistent, then preference is usually given to the simpler of the two. Science has a beautiful word for this. It is called “Elegance”. (here’s a cool article on it if you are interested... ) Makes you think of modeling doesn’t it? No? Just me? OK... This point is not complex. It is simply that if one theory can explain the same phenomenon making use of fewer explanations then it is to be held as the better one. I like this point on a personal level... I like it because of what I believe in: The Gospel of Christ is simple. Man needed redemption and God made a plan.

So, I really didn’t mean this blog to be a gospel presentation (if I did, it would have been a poor show anyway), but I wanted to provide some sort of qualitative framework which any person could use to evaluate and extrapolate life theories. Hope you find it useful...

God and Music

i got thinking tonight about just how much the concept of MUSIC features within the Word of God, and in the culture of the Israelites. I can hardly get very far in my reading of the Old Testament before I encounter some reference to music, or the use of music within the religious activities of the time. And i guess I figured out for the first time tonight that God must really LOVE music. And I’m not really even meaning worship, (i don’t want to get into that). I’m simply talking about the making of sounds that sound nice together.

I don’t have any scriptures to back that up, it’s just my thought direction...

Perhaps me getting this understanding was so slow due to the fact that there is very little mention of Jesus being anything of a musical type and so because most of my concept of God is derived from New Testament passages, I guess I have just never realised God’s passion for music. There is the one time that Jesus sang... in Mark 14 vs 26. I wonder what he sounded like... man, i would have loved to have listened to God singing. But in general, we don’t see Jesus and a musical type at all... and there is a good chance that he was not- otherwise it might have some up more in scripture.

Anyway, that tangent aside- I truly believe that God enjoys music. That he enjoys it. That he enjoys me when I am enjoying another aspect of his creation- namely music.

less is more

heaven’s dawn
i find it at the days close
open the skies
be nought to my eyes
but to my soul be all

a permanent stick

A few days ago, a friend of mine had a cross tattooed onto his right shoulder. I have always been aware of the fact that many Christians believe that tattoos are forbidden and thus the irony of a cross tattoo has got me thinking. I have never been pro or anti tattoos. In fact, i believe that external factors, in general, are very poor spiritual yardsticks. As for saying they are wrong... well I can only see one type of Biblical character using a spiritual platform to rebuke the markings on another’s skin. And Jesus’ tanded to rebuke that crowd quite a bit...

Then I got thinking about why I don’t like tattoos if my reason is not spiritual. Well, that’s what I have just very proudly figured out about 5 minutes ago. About a week ago I purchased the Fin24 magazine and inside this edition was a whole bunch of stickers that were pretty funky, so i decided to stick the most funky one on the back of one of my most enjoyed possessions- my moleskine diary. As i was sitting at my desk today, I saw the sticker and decided that I didn’t like it there anymore. So I pulled it off. And you know what happens when you pull a sticker off: half of it stayed on and the part that came off was only half off. The sticky residue was still stuck there. Freak. And that got me thinking all the way back to when I was 4 and knew what a sticker was. I have NEVER stuck a sticker anywhere and liked it for more than one week. In fact, I don’t like stickers. The fun of a sticker is in the peeling and sticking, not in the visual appeal after that.

And that’s why I don’t like tattoos. That’s why I would never got one. It’s a permanent stick.

As for religion? Well I guess we will always have the white-washed tombs with us and they will forever be quoting Leviticus 19:28 and brandishing permanent sticks of their own...

coffee in the morning

the best morning is when you have lots to do but nothing scheduled and you wake up at a time that not too late and it’s not too early. the time is just right for you to make coffee and to come and sit at your desk and write about what time it is without actually telling anyone what the time really is. and then you sit here and although the ‘to-do’ list is long and although you should be being productive, you aren’t. and you not feeling guilty about it either.

yes, these are the best mornings and mornings like these make me happy to be a penniless student, sipping on my cup of cup of alta-rica. deciding whether i should study, read a book, play the guitar or make another cup of alters. nothing is imperative and so indecision is mandatory, even welcomed.

and so i start today, cognizant of the fact that nearly the whole population is jealous of me right now as they scoot off to work and start the last day of the week. i don’t mind if people are jealous- it validates my smugness.

insights into my father's heart

so this morning i was reading that parable in Matthew 21 entitled ‘Story of the Two Sons’. although i am familiar with the story I think the story meant something more to me in light of what I have been going through with God recently.

in about november last year i started reading the book i have just recently reviewed- ‘disappointment with God’ by yancey- and the book really gave me new and fresh insight into God as a father, and how often his ‘angry speeches’ through his prophets are showing us his stark disappointment mixed with his intense desire for us to get stuff right. kinda like when a dad gets frustrated with his kid who just keeps getting stuff wrong even though the dad is giving him all the opportunities for the son to get it right. sure, the dad gets upset, but he’s not even close to giving up on the kid.

so that was one part of it. the next part of it was yesterday. i was having coffee with a friend at mugg and bean. and we got chatting about the hard stuff about our faith, and how we are battling to get certain stuff right after years of sincere effort. and my friend leaned back in his chair and said a little pearl of wisdom that i will take with me throughout my life: ‘you know, carl, i think God enjoys our humanness.’ that was a fresh thought to me... i thought the only part of me God enjoyed was the part that got stuff right. i know i have to be careful with this thought and even as i write this i am not sure quite how far to take it, but i do reckon that an earthly dad doesn’t mind mistakes. after-all, it’s his child and children make mistakes.

(i’m not by any means saying that our striving for purity should decrease- but rather that our perception of how God sees us after we stuff up might need adjusting- isn’t it a broken spirit that pleases God?) but i don’t want to get too far off the point here.

and then the last part of the story had to do with reading that parable this morning. it’s about 2 sons who asks them to go work in the field. the first says ‘no’ to his dad but later went to work, and the second said ‘yes’ to his father but then never went. the question is asked: ‘which son was obeying their father?’... although there are many things to discuss in this story, the only one that i saw this morning is the heart of a father. he wants obedience. it pleases him. and the greatest tragedy of the second son seems to not to be his lack of integrity but rather the fact that he didn’t please his dad.

I think that is why the bible draws so many lessons from the fact that God is our spiritual father... it’s so that when i’m not sure how to handle myself spiritually and when i’m keen to run, the only place God wants me to run to is toward him.

criticism

hey, if i was reading this post and someone else had written it, i would think it was terrible. but because it’s me writing it and this is my idea, i quite like how short it is. also it’s hidden message- i like that too. you probably don’t, but then again, that is the point of it...

diffusion

so i made a cup of tea for myself this morning. i watched how the hot water slowly changed colour as the tea-bag fulfilled it’s purpose. and it got me thinking about God, and about when he’s in my day he changes the colour of it. he diffuses into me and i taste better than hot water...

Book Review- Disappointment With God (Philip Yancey)

So I have just finished reading a book that has taken months to finish. It has not taken months because it is boring. It took a long time because it is a difficult book to read and is abundant in difficult conceptual ideas that take time and effort to process. Most of Yancey’s works are intellectual, but I found this one to be his most challenging read thus far.

‘Disappointment with God’ attempts to answer the following three questions:
1. Is God fair?
2. Is God silent?
3. Is God hidden?

To this end, the book is a must-read. I have never had these questions so well answered, and his wise and calculated answers I will carry with me through life. Yancey does something very interesting and for a large part of the book, turns the tables and writes on what it might be like to be God, and even on God’s disappointment with man. This revealed to me God through history and certainly gave me a greater (even poetic) understanding of God, my father, the lover of my soul. Along the way, my desire to read the Old Testament prophets peaked and I started to appreciate new things in books like Isaiah and Lamentations. At one point in time, the book even became very intellectual in a scientific way and discussed the linearity of time and time and it’s relativity and what that means to us and to God.

In true Yancey fashion he explores all angles of an argument (even ‘disappointment without God’) often throwing himself in the deep water of the argument and writing his way back out onto solid ground.

Yancey, my hero.

the road home

in 2004 and 2005, i was involved with an organisation called j-life. we were based on a farm outside heidelberg called camp eden. it was during these two years that my faith in the Lord Jesus was cemented and when i made much personal progress and started taking concepts such leadership and devotion seriously. God worked wonders in my life.

whenever i come back to the campsite i am always excited to be in this place of memories and to a place when somehow God seems more available to me even though it’s probably me being more available to him.

the farm house is at the end of a 9km dirt road. whenever i drive the road it is different. there are always new tracks being formed and new holes in the ground that were never there before. sometimes when it has been raining, it is a very slushy drive. other times when it has been sunny, it can be a very bumpy ride. but every time is different.

it’s like my path to God is always different. Or it’s like God’s path to me is always different. There are always new ways to enjoy the company of my Father. There are always new discoveries that await me.

the road is not generic, but the road leads to God and i know where the road starts...

James 4:8... ‘come near to God and he will come near to you.’

offline

Even though technology so often works so well for us, we often find that sometimes it is able to work against us... and when it is working against us, we find that it can be rather effective at totally de-railing us. Sometimes I feel as though technology has built a highway over a dirt-road and that’s all smooth-driving until the introduction of tarmac means pot-holes, when before potholes were never a problem. So right now my internet is down- as you may have guessed from my very revealing title of this post. But an even greater tragedy than an offline connection is that fact that I don’t even need to be online. Technology has created a need that technology can’t satisfy. Now to catch the next train to somewhere I’m not planning on going...

twofold releases 'touch without feeling'

ok, so as far as possible i always like to try and keep different parts of my life separate. like my varsity life is seperate from my music and my music blog is separate from my personal blog. for those who don't know, i'm in a band called 'twofold' and our blog is at www.twofoldmusic.com.

but this week was a special one, and it has caused my music excitement to spill over into more personal affairs. i am afterall one person with one heart and so there's bound to be spillage.

so this wednesday kerri, chris and i locked ourselves in a room at our church and decided to work on 5 tracks for a demo EP... it was hard work and rather frustrating, but i was actually surpried at how nicely it came together on the day. by 2pm we had done numerous takes for 3 songs that still was going to need much editing and cutting and pasting, but we were making progress at least- and so when our heads were pounding little too much to bear anymore, we took a walk to mc donalds and had a breather and got some fresh air... you know- as i'm bloggin this i realise that it's actually quite boring if you weren't there. so i'm not going to make it interesting. so let me tell you the highlight for me:
at about 5:20pm chris had to leave and i was still really keen to record 'rain' cos that is the most asked for recording... so just before packing up, kerri and i did a 'straight take'... that is we recorded vocals and guitar at the same time from start to finish. the track you hear on twofold's facebook page has had no post-production. and to me, it's beautifully vulnerable because of it.

check it out...

being ok alone

So I'm not sure about this one at all, and I think that by me writing this post, I will ultimately contradict myself, but I'm going to blog what's on my mind anyhow...

I'm at the Mugg and Bean in Greenstone. I was going to meet a friend here but then he couldn't so i took my mac out and bought some wi-fi megabytes on my kulula card, to pass time. After checking facebook and the twofold page to see if anyone has said anything I looked up the super 14 fixtures to see how many games i would be able to fit in this weekend. and then I ran out of things to do. It seems that the to-do list shrinks considerably during the holidays!

at about this time- after finishing my first cup of coffee i started to become slightly smug at the fact that i was sitting all on my own and was ok with it-- you see, i have always subscribed to the fact that everyone needs to be okay with spending time on their own. ie. they have to be comfortable with their own company. In my mind, i take it as far as if people can't be alone for very long then they got issues.

so i was getting smug... very proud at how well i was being alone. until i realised just how many distractions are around me... let me list them:
- the TV showing me live rugby (waratahs v cheetahs)
- the coffee in front of me
- the table's conversation next to me that is abundantly interesting
- facebook (which is like being surrounded by 20 people anyway)
- my moblie (from which i have sent 2 text messages already)
- my waitress (her name is Janet and everytime she comes over i keep her chatting for as long as possible)

hm. this alone time is actually just one big distraction that i love. it's the joy of company without the effort of communicating. whoa.

which brings me to an interesting conclusion. my only REAL alone time is with Jesus. when i'm putting my mind on His things. when i'm creating space for him rather than filling up space for me.

sin

sin will always take you farther than what you wanted to go, and cost you more than you were willing to spend...

[not my thought but a good one...]

who i am meets who i should be

there’s this song by a band that i really like called ‘who i am meets who i’ve been’... and i like that track. and this morning i have woken up thinking about who carl should be, and how massively detached i am from him. in fact, i am not even close to who i should (and could) have been.

and then while thinking upon such things and while the heart was heavy i turned to my bible- hoping for some encouragement, maybe a little bit of consolation. i had no such luck... turning to psalm 84 i read: ‘my soul longs and even faints for the courts of the Lord. my heart and flesh cry out for the living God.’

well now. that’s a standard. that’s a benchmark in terms of desire. i know only about myself so i’ll comment only about him... im not even close to that! maybe about twice a year i can honestly say that my heart cries out for God. maybe you are different? im not.

normally when people (especially Christians) talk like this (and by ‘like this’ i mean down at themselves... they normally abate their point right at the end y saying something like one of the following:
- no body is perfect
- thank goodness for Grace that sets me right (if you are christian)
- im only human

in this post there will be no such meandering. i should be more. i could be more. i must be more. this is my only chance.

in closing, there is one more point to consider. who i could have been today doesn’t really matter- im not him. could’ve been him but i’m just me. all i have this morning is who i am and that’s who i must work on, that’s who i must enjoy. that’s who has to live today. and when there is depravity there is a need. and when i need i ask. and when im desperate i ask wholeheartedly. i cry out...

make this something normal into something beautiful...

the vacuum in my Bible...

I was surprised to learn, only just recently, that there is a ‘vacuum’ in my bible: between the time that Malachi (the last book in the Old Testament) finishes and Matthew (first book in the New Testament) starts, there seems to be a void of undocumented history. 300 years of it to be precise.

That fact alone is not all that amazing but when I started to look at a few patterns that led to this ‘vacancy of information’, I learnt some interesting lessons on the character of God. I was helped along this journey very much by Philip Yancey in his book ‘Disappointment with God’.

Let’s look at the trend: God makes Adam and Eve. He is directly involved in their lives and personally kicks them out of the garden when they sin. Next up comes Cain. Even though humans are now away from direct contact with God, when Cain kills Abel, he deals with Cain personally and punishes him then and there. To me, God seems like an angry parent who sends their child to be in his room due to direct and severe misbehaviour. Anyway, with the Israelites he was involved. He dealt personally with Abraham and then later with Moses as he led his people to freedom.

Then what?

Then he stepped back and let man be his voice... No, I’m not talking about Jesus. Not yet anyway. Then came the prophets. God’s voice without God speaking it. It seems to me that during the time of the prophets, God’s heart was slowly breaking. There are many times that God sounds like a hurt and wounded lover who can’t decide whether or not to take back his dirty, slutty wife or to punish her forever by casting her away from him.

This carries on but it seems like God being close to humans is too much for him to bear, and so he backs away and backs away....

And then comes the vacuum. The dead space. God goes quiet. Maybe hurt once too many and unable to face the people he still so dearly loves. I dunno. But I do know that it was as if God disappeared. Centuries of silence.

Weird hey?

Sure, then came Jesus and he was to change things. A new testament. A new covenant. A new unspoiled blood that was to forever promise proximity to God.

Yet, I don’t know if that is the case totally. It seems that even since then God has moved in spurts. Or rather, He has retreated periodically throughout history even after the birth of Christ. I think the medieval times were one of these periods.

I just feel like I have stumbled upon an aspect of God that shows me that sometimes man can make Him unwillingly turn his back on man. Like a hurt lover.

I just want to learn how to be the man that shows God that this generation is not without hope. That there is no need to turn his back because he will take pleasure out of watching earth, or at least pieces of it.

Can my generation be outside the vacuum? Can I help to make it a period in history when God faces us front-on rather than a time when he turns his back to shed yet another tear for his fallen beloved?

---------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE NOTE: I have used poetic licence deluxe here. I have taken what many might see as a condecending approach to God that might offend. The truth is that the created will never understand the creator, and I was merely taking an angle that gave me a fresh (and I believe biblical) understanding of the nature of God.