today is another taxing day

I am frustrated.

I do not like to think that this blog is about me and my feelings... i would aim to channel what i feel (and the reasons for those feelings) into some sort of conceptual idea. If these were just stories about me and how i feel then i guess that would be pretty stupid 'cos everyone has their own batch of amazingly interesting stories that all deserve to be told and listened to... so i look beyond my frustration to a cause of it. an exploration that can help more than just myself.

im at my desk. it's now only 3 hours till i write my most formidable opponent. His name is Taxation. he scares me like you have no idea. More than i love my bath robe i despise Taxation. The fact that it is difficult should however not be the cause for frustration because with enough work I am able to understand even the most difficult elements of STC, interim dividend and all those other scary components of the course. Frustration (as an english word) should be reserved for things that really are frustrating. In other words, frustration shouldn't really be used to describe something that you haven't really tried hard to fix.

Another example quick- an easy one this time... Let's say you were reading something and you came across the word 'blague' and you didn't know what it meant... you cant then say that it is frustrating that you do not know the meaning because with sufficient effort you would be able to find it out. It's just unknown. Not frustrating.

Therefore it is not right to say that Taxation is frustrating. But I will tell you what is:

The collective thickness of my textbooks for this semester is well over the thickness of 6 Bibles put together. And their text is much smaller. And they have more numbers than the book of Numbers (squared)... hard to believe i know.

And yet I will spend hours in my varsity books trying to figure out a concept. Labouring over the parts that i don't understand. Getting to grips with key concepts. And I do it all for this life.

I glance nonchalantly across the room and notice my Bible lying there. Untouched for 4 days now... Crazy to think that I spend hours every day in my varsity books that teach me how to succeed in this world and leave The Word unattended. As if this world is 100x more important than the next. As if I'm on my head. Again. The principles I thought i knew yesterday have again been re-learnt today. The priorities I have wanted my whole life long are still skewed.

Not for lack of effort.

I am forced to concede that Christianity is a harder road that causes me more frustration than any other...

Another taxing day awaits...