fear of loss

Last night my car got stolen... along with my wallet (in my car)... along with my diary containing my internet banking username etc. I got an sms saying that the account that I have been using to save up for my MBA had been cleaned out. It all happened so fast.

You know sometimes how when you wake from a dream and within an instant you go from wild panic to uncontainable relief? I’m sure you’ve had it - you flip over on to your back, take stock of where you are, look through your phone messages just to make sure that the bank didn’t sms you after all. And breathe out.

Relief. I was dreaming. I have lost nothing.

But I realised something rather significant: I own things that are important to me. And in fearing to lose them, I have lost something already.